Parents with girls at some point wonder at what age should my daughter 

start doing her own hair.  At around age 11, most girls start developing their style.  It is not perfect by any means, but it is the time personal style emerges.  They are also entering that battlefield called high school and hoping to leave unscathed.  I was a student at an all-girls school.  Only the strong survive.  Females have their own art of war.


If you are wondering at what age should my daughter start doing her own hair, puberty is probably

the best.  Rather than always doing her hair, let her comb it by herself.  Allow her to try covered bands, headbands or butterfly clips.  If you are hopeless when it comes to hair, find a good tutorial on Youtube.   Make sure it is a beginner’s tutorial and the style is very simple.  Later, you can move on to making french braids or plaiting the hair.


As a hairstylist, I find there are some parenting styles that stop girls doing their hair, e.g.:


  • Parents that control everything.  They want the daughter to look perfect all the time.  I have no problem with this if they are going out.  But, If the child is at home, let them try to do the hair themselves and learn from the mistakes.
  • Parents that abandon the child’s hair until there is an event. This parent will not comb, brush, wash or style the child’s hair unless they have to.  Usually this means only when they have to leave the house.  The child is also forbidden to comb their hair without permission. These are the ones who will also leave braids in their child’s hair for more than 3 months and wonder: 

(a) why it is broken; 

(b) why the child screams when it is combed;

(c)  complain that their child’s hair does not grow.  

  • Parents that are bullied.  These parents fall in a few categories:  

(a) forced labour – the child forces them to comb the hair under the guise that it looks ‘better’ when they do it.

(b) the child that forbids the parent to touch the hair.  Later, they get knots in the hair.  This is the only time the parent is allowed to see it.  Mostly the parent cannot touch the hair and is required to seek professional help.

(c) The parent is too indecisive and the child develops anxiety whenever it is time to do the hair. 

(d) The parent always overreacts. The child develops the same traits so they never develop confidence to do the hair on their own.


We are in lockdown.  Will let you know when we re-open.  Be safe!

I hope this helps those wondering at what stage should my daughter start doing her own hair. Learning takes time and it comes when you are patient.

By Paula Barker, Silkie Locks Hair Design