At salons across the world, hairstylists who survive in the industry, have developed themselves to
know what are the four parenting styles. If you do not learn this quite early, your work life will be challenging. Not all parents are alike and since they are from different backgrounds, cultures and countries, it takes some effort to predict how you can get out unmarked. Psychologists have managed to condense what are the four parenting styles and since hairstylists are constantly in contact with them, it is a good thing to know.
The most known ones are:
- Authoritarian – they tell the child what to do and expect total obedience. Where this becomes a problem is when the hairstyle is painful for the child; they leave the hair too long between styles or they ask for styles that is outside the child’s age group. One of my most memorable experiences was once, I had booked a client for prom and her mom chose this hairstyle I thought was definitely for some victorian bride but she insisted this was it–for her little princess, with the dress to match. On the day of, her best friend came in while we were doing her hair and wore this fun, hip hairdo and it finally dawned on them that her friends were wearing trendy, teenager-type formal dresses, not wedding gowns. Suddenly, we had to change the hairstyle and everything was a problem from there. We decided on one finally, but mom and I felt that teenage angst! I often wonder what she did for a new dress.
2. Democratic – They give the child advice but allow the child to have a say so everyone is happy. They are also able to leave that line in case they have to make an unfavourable parenting decision.
3. Helicopter Parent – They want the child to have everything in life with no bumps so life is always great. Unfortunately, the child grows to become either selfish, with no empathy when a need is not met, or they are nervous, anxious and cannot make a decision on their own. This parent is a pal to their kid and this causes problems in their relationship as they get older because a kid wants direction, they have lots of pals at school.
4. Uninvolved parents: give minimum care or attention in the sense that they feel by throwing money at the material needs, they do not have to spend time with the child. This is sad because they can be there in the flesh but spend almost all their time on the phone or working. The child noticeably tries to do things to get their attention to no avail. Sometimes you become the adult they bounce ideas off so it pays to listen.
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I feel children are little gifts that get sent in the world for you to nurture and take care of. As adults, these learnt things allow them to become positive members of society or not. As a parent, you try to instil good things in your child, but if your behaviour has a flaw, you should try as best to correct it to make their life better so learn what are the four parenting styles and how it applies to you.
By Paula Barker, Silkie Locks Hair Design
Buy my e-book: Dreadlocks: A Hairstylist’s Manifest